Here We Go Again

Photo by Malte Lu from Pexels

I’m back. Believe it or not. This is nothing I was expecting until I got bored these last few days of my school break. Can I still write? We’ll see. Does anyone still read this? Probably not, meaning I’ll be okay.

How timely it is for me to bust open this blog right as 2020 starts. I’m very hopeful for this new year. A true cliché it is, but I feel as though I may actually have control over my life this year. If you’re reading this and you’re around pre-highschool years, perhaps you’ll understand so that I don’t sound like a lunatic. Maybe you’ll agree with me, I think that control comes from years of learning and mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, yes, but they learn from those mistakes so that they can take control and not repeat their errors. One of control’s many components is reflection. This leads me to the base of this post.

My reflections on 2019 or also steps I took to now think I have control:  Something I did last year that I’m proud of is joining an elective at school. Being that the previous grade was academically terrifying, I thought I’d be nothing without the privilege of two study halls. Hopeful, I joined the S.T.E.A.M elective at my school. I hadn’t had a passion for S.T.E.A.M for three years before that moment, but now I’ve learned and laughed so much that my passion is bigger than ever. I am one of two girls in S.T.E.A.M and to me, this factor made it more important than ever that I prove myself wrong. From this, I am no longer concerned about testing my full potential in things I’m interested in excelling at. A lot of my reflection includes encountering my full potential. After the previous grade’s academic (in one subject) bellyflop, I thought I was incapable of achieving success and doing what my peers could do. I have little explanation to what occurred, but I’m taking so much more control in my academic habits and attitude towards school this year.

How I’m taking more control this year: Cheesy and something only I would care about, I’m finding what makes me passionate. Here’s a sort of list. Stemming from a project I was forced to do, I’ve found a passion to help kids who are struggling from trauma in general, but specifically from school shootings. After denying accusations of not having the most *beautiful* voice on the planet from ages three to ten, I finally started taking voice lessons solely to help myself feel confident in my voice and not hide it at all times. Sure, I’ll still hide my singing voice from you at always, but be patient. Before middle school, I was THE champion reader. I was always two or three grades ahead of mine in grade suggested books, could read a hefty book in a day and a half, and had a whopping three places where I stored my collection. The challenges of middle school seemingly erased these capabilities from my memory, but here I am. I started back reading right before exams due to stress levels and let me tell you, it made me creepily happy. I started reading book after book, often putting it before studying (sorry Mme E, I love French, but thank goodness our school partially lit aflame), which will NEVER happen again. 🙂 2020 has left me with a goal of reading thirty-six books this year that I hope to surpass by around twenty. With the help of an app called Goodreads, I’m tracking the books I read and always searching for the next big hit. I hope to continue discovering new passions and books for years to come.

Thank you for reading this if you did. If I actually asked you to read this, I’m sorry and thank you very much. Cheers to taking control, finding our passions, and a wonderful New Year!